


I would like to...

by akhikaru



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Community: rainbowfilling, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:53:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikaru/pseuds/akhikaru
Summary: Maybe he should have said it before...





	I would like to...

**Author's Note:**

> For the rainbowfilling prompt "Songwriter/Singer".
> 
> The lyrics of the song included in the middle of the fic are a translation of "Yo quisiera" by Reik. The title comes from that song as well.

Ninomiya Kazunari took a glance at the door for the nth time that morning. It wasn't strange that his friend showed up late at the studio, but this time he had a hunch that something bad had happened. When the other man finally arrived, his eyes were red and swollen. Nino could notice it even under the gigantic sunglasses he was wearing. It could only mean one thing.

"She dumped you?"

The other man just slumped on the sofa, burying his face in a small cushion which muffled his groans. Nino sighed. This wasn't the first time it happened. Actually, it was more frequent than people might think, given their status as the rising stars of pop music. His friend was rather unlucky when it came to love affairs. Cheaters, married women pretending to be single (and their angry husbands), gold diggers, gangsters, even a spy using him as a cover; Aiba Masaki had encountered all of those during his tortuous love life. Nino had been there to witness everything. After all, they were best friends since elementary school.

"Oh, come on…" Nino sat next to his friend. "So what if she decided to get back together with that loser ex-boyfriend of hers? You must have more pride, man! You can't go crying over every stupid woman that dumps you!"

"But…" Aiba raised his face from the pillow to look at his friend. "I really thought she was the one, Kazu." 

"That's the same thing you said about Shiori, Maki, Reiko, Nana, Kasumi, Akane, Chiharu, Yuka, Ran, Aya…"

"I got it, I got it!" Aiba whined, burying his face in the cushion again. "There's no need to list each one of my ex-girlfriends!"

"Ah, what am I gonna do with you…" Nino sighed and patted Aiba's back.

"Hug me?"

Aiba made his puppy eyes, the same that always led to Nino lending him a shoulder (and occasionally a lap or a chest) to cry on as he recited the same words of consolation he knew were certain to bring back a smile to Aiba's face whenever this happened. _No, this time I won't… This time I…_

"Please?"

A couple of tears ran down Aiba's cheeks, and that was enough to break Nino's resolve.

Nino reluctantly opened his arms and embraced him. "Come here. Let it out…"  
  
  


_I'm your best friend,_  
The one who wipes the tears you shed  
because of lost loves  
You lean on my shoulder  
your weeping never ceases  
I just caress you  
And you ask me why life is so cruel with your feelings  
I just hold you and comfort you  
You ask me for thousands of advice to protect yourself  
From your next meeting, you know I care about you  
What you don't know is that… 

 

"I think I don't want to date anymore," Aiba said. "I'm done with love!"

Nino chuckled. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I'm sick of it! It's not like I need love to survive! Love shouldn't exist!"

"Careful, young man. May I remind you that it's because of love that we, as singers, have a job?" Nino playfully hit Aiba's head with the tip of his pencil. "If people stopped caring about love, then what will the both of us do, huh? What will we sing about?"

"I don't know…" Aiba puffed his cheeks. "Politics?"

Nino raised an eyebrow "Politics? What do you know about politics, Aiba-chan?"

"Ummm…" Aiba looked down in embarrassment. "Well, we'll find something else!"

Nino laughed. "How about we just stick to the plan and keep singing love songs? We've been doing pretty well with those."

"Fine…" Aiba folded his arms across his chest. "But you'll write them. I so don't want to know anything about love anymore!"

"So you say, but next time that DJ Matsumoto-kun or your journalist friend Sakurai-kun invites you to drink with them, you'll probably hook up with someone else."

"I won't!" Aiba snapped.

Nino stared at his friend's serious expression and then shook his head. _I know you will..._ He bit his lip and continued scribbling some verses in his notebook.

"What are you writing there? A new song?"

"Yup."

"Can I read it?"

"Nope." Nino closed his notebook. "You know the rule, no peeking until it's done."

"Ah, it's not fair!" Aiba protested. "I always let you see mine! Ah, wait, someone's calling me." He stood up, and the expression on his face changed as soon as he saw the name displayed on his cell phone's screen. "Jun-kun! It's been a while! Eh? Tomorrow night? No, I'm free… Really!?"

Nino sighed as he saw the excitement glowing in Aiba's face. _Guess he's back in the game now…_  
  
  


_I would like to be the one for whom you stay awake all night and get desperate_  
I would like to be your tears, those that come from your soul  
I would like to be the reason you wake up full of illusions  
I would like you to always be in love with me 

 

Aiba was grinning like an idiot since the morning. He'd also been on the phone for nearly half an hour with his new girlfriend, Mimi… Misaki… or was it Miko? Nino didn't remember.

Just as Nino had predicted, Aiba went to Matsumoto's party on Friday and suddenly forgot all he said about giving up on love. At least he wasn't so gloomy anymore. There wasn't anything Nino couldn't stand more than a sulky Aiba Masaki. It was partly because he just stayed on a corner doing nothing all day, which wasn't convenient when they had to promote their new singles. The other reason, the _actual_ reason, was not as easy to accept.

"Kazu!" Aiba jumped on Nino from behind. "Miko-chan and I will go on a date this evening, isn't that great!?"

"Yeah, it's great," Nino mumbled.

"Hmm? You don't sound very optimistic. What's wrong?"

"Nothing Aiba, nothing." Nino took his backpack and walked to the door. "I hope you enjoy your date."

Leaving a dumfounded Aiba behind in their little studio, Nino returned to his modest apartment. Even though their popularity had been rising exponentially in the last few months, as well as their income, Nino didn't want to leave that place. There were so many memories attached to every single thing under those four walls. Back when Aiba still lived with him.

Nino looked down. Yeah, things were changing. It had been months since the last time they spent a whole weekend together playing video games and eating junk food like they did in the old times, way before the fame, the crowds screaming their names, the butt kissers and the army of money-seeking sluts chasing them. He remembered the nights they talked about what they'd do if their dream came true. He recalled the promise they made of always being the same, no matter what happened. A bittersweet smile spread across his face.

"Maybe I should have said it back then…"  
  
  


_You stare at me_  
and ask if there's something wrong  
And I don't know what to do…  
If you just knew I'm dying inside  
I'd like to tell you what I feel…  
But I fear you'll reject me  
and only live in my mind forever…  
That's why… 

 

Somehow, Aiba convinced Nino to go that party. Apparently, he needed to go out and socialize more since he had become a 'hermit' during the last month. Normally, he would have used this time as a chance to give a clever rebuttal to Aiba's reasoning and smack him hard in the head, but he didn't have the energy to do so. So he just let Aiba do as he wanted and followed him to Matsumoto's club.

The bartender, a short and sleepy-looking guy, looked at him with a curious expression. "You seem troubled," he said.

Nino sighed. "I am…"

"I'm Ohno. Ohno Satoshi. Call me Oh-chan, everyone does it," the bartender said. "Need to talk about something? I could hear you out if you want."

"I don't know, Oh-chan…"

"Love problems?"

"Love? No, not at all…" Nino said. Ohno kept staring at him with his inquisitive eyes without saying a word. "Well, maybe…"

"A woman?"

"A man, actually. My best friend." Nino motioned Ohno to look at Aiba, who seemed to be having the time of his life with Miko in the dancing floor. "I don't know what I should do about it though. Seems kind of hopeless to me."

"Tell him," Ohno replied calmly.

"What!? No, no… I can't…"

Ohno frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, he's straight and… wouldn't it be weird? Since we're friends and all…"

"If he's really your best friend, he'll understand it."

"I don't know how to say it." Nino took a sip of his until-then-untouched whiskey.

"How would you usually express your feelings in this kind of situation?"

Nino snorted. "Not big on the whole expressing feelings thing, I'm afraid. I never talk about these things! I just write songs to get them off my chest but—wait!" He looked up at Ohno, who gave him a knowing smile. "I think I know what to do, thanks!"

"No problem!" Ohno smiled at him. "Good luck!"  
  
  


_I'd like to be the one for whom you stay awake all night and get desperate_  
I'd like to be your tears, those that come from your soul  
I'd like to be the reason you wake up full of illusions  
I'd like you to always be in love with me 

 

Nino cleared his throat in front of the microphone. "I… umm… I wanted to share a new song with everybody. I… I wrote it for someone very special who is here with us tonight. I hope you enjoy it."

All eyes were on him as he started strumming his guitar. In the first row was standing the recipient of his song, the one who without knowing it was sending him through hell every single day of his life. After taking a deep breath, he let the words flow. His mind was completely blank. Time stopped at the moment his eyes met Aiba's right when he said the words he'd been holding in for such a long time.

A round of applause accompanied him as he descended from the small stage.

"It was wonderful, Ninomiya-san!" Sakurai praised him as soon as he came down. "Will it be included in your next album?"

"Thanks, but I don't think so." Nino's smile turned into a sad one. Being the perceptive man he was, Sakurai refrained himself from asking further. "Now, if you excuse me…" Nino bowed at him and rushed to the exit.

"I did it. I finally did it," Nino muttered to himself as he lit a cigarette in the dark alley behind the club.

He could still hear the music booming inside the club, and at the same time, he didn't hear it. He stood there for a while, half hoping that at some point Aiba would come out looking for him, making a lot of questions about his song because he finally understood Nino's feelings, and maybe, just maybe, he'd give him an answer. Yet it didn't happen.

Nino couldn't say he felt disappointed. What was he expecting? A heartwarming confession from a guy who was obviously not interested in men? He rolled his eyes at that part of him that still harbored a slight hope that Aiba would someday reciprocate his feelings. He walked back home with his heart shattered in a million pieces.

The next Monday he'd have to show up at the usual hour at the studio, doing his best to pretend that everything was still okay.  
  
  


_I'd like to be your tears, your life…_

 

"There you are!" Aiba exclaimed as soon as he walked past the threshold. "Where the hell did you go? I looked for you everywhere!"

"Sorry, I was tired," Nino lied and took a seat on the leather sofa.

"That was an amazing song, Nino," Aiba commented. "It's the best one you've written."

"Thanks."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Aiba's voice had a serious tone. Nino was panicking inside.

"About what?" Nino averted his eyes from Aiba. It was too embarrassing.

"The song! You said…" Aiba blushed. "You said…"

"That I love you? That I wish you felt the same way for me, instead of seeing how you get your heart broken over and over again?" Nino was now just inches away from Aiba.

Aiba nodded. "Yes, that…"

"Why do you think?" Nino let out a bitter laugh. "You like women, Aiba. I can't change that! I'm not…"

Suddenly a pair of soft lips silenced him. Nino was in shock. As much as he wanted this, he pushed Aiba away. "Don't play with me."

"I'm not playing Nino. I love you. I always have," Aiba confessed. "I tried to forget you. I thought that if I dated those women I'd be able to, but I failed. In the end, I always come back to you, one way or another."

"What about Miko?"

"We decided to be just friends after a couple of dates actually. She found out about my feelings for you without me even telling her," Aiba admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Then why didn't you say it before!?"

"How could I know that you liked me? You never showed it!" Aiba gave him a hurt look. "I wanted to get your attention and I never succeeded."

Nino hugged Aiba. "You idiot… You didn't need to get my attention. You've always had it."

"Really!?" Aiba's voice sounded a thousand times happier than two seconds ago.

Nino shook his head. He pulled his friend for a short kiss. When they broke the kiss, they just stared into each other's eyes, beaming. After that, they just cuddled on the sofa and talked for hours about their music, their future… just like in the old days. 

Only that this was better.


End file.
